Alright. Eight minutes. Better not let Harry to grow up into this distorted, disabled, fucking image of his fucking drip of a father.” I expect that’s what she’ll think. So your mother comes into Flanagan’s, and she’s out to here. Look. Liam's claim that he went to the aid of a knife-slashed stranger lying in the gutter is soon exposed as a pathetic lie.

Up at Flanagan’s? She won’t be like “oh my god he lost his job!” – she’ll be like “of course he lost his job, the fucking retard. The big question is how Helen and her acquiescent husband will react. It’s all part of it. I’ve never seen so much water before, and it’s not the water it’s just, I’ve never seen anything like this in the whole course of my life. Boom. No, Jimmy actually – she was pregnant with Jimmy – because it was near Christmas, and your father was locked up in Walpole again, so she didn’t have any money for anything. She never told you that turkey story? Disabled my foot, he was carrying a crash helmet. “Gosh, it goes back for ages. In the original text, she motors through or deflects his interruptions, which is worth playing here. Joe Armstrong's Liam astutely reminds us that pathological violence may be accompanied by profound sentimentality, and Jonathan McGuinness does his best to convince us of the dithering Danny's plunge into the inferno. Too young, your mother. Claire-Louise Cordwell is outstanding as Helen, a deeply damaged figure ready to use motherhood as an obscene bargaining chip. Here, in this play about workplace bullying and competition, Isobel belittles a male character. And he likes the way my face is. I mean long, long before I met you. I’m sorry, it’s just this picture of my life I’ve always had since I was able to think and I’ve never questioned it. And I swear to god, she didn’t miss a beat. Are you auditioning for a comedy? I have absolutely no idea what he is like.

But it’s always been an image, I guess, of myself with a bump and glowing in that motherly – or pushing a pram or a cot, or a mobile above it or singing to it. Violence lies at the heart of Dennis Kelly's disturbing new play, which garnered plaudits at Edinburgh's fringe festival this summer. And we are constantly adding more and more every week. Margaret is on a cigarette break at work, talking to her younger boss who also happens to be the son of her dead friend, Suzie. Someone’s cat had been sick down his front, haha.

In this edited extract, she’s telling a comic story to avoid a serious conversation with her boss about being late for her shift. And that fair play and honest, transparent work behaviour would be rewarded in the end.

Even we ration once again and once again approximately the books, whats your conception If you are … Hundreds of great monologues from plays for men and women of all ages.

Here, after much discussion, the speaker has finally said “yes.” This edited text includes punctuation to make it more straightforward to learn, but the original has only two full stops – one after “never questioned it” and the other after “Never.” Feel free to move the punctuation around or do away with it altogether. It was all covered in crap. And I’m like, “Hey Suzie, how are the kids?” And she doesn’t wanna talk obviously, she’s just trying to push through the line, “Oh they’re good, I was just looking for something, but you don’t have it, so I’m gonna try someplace else.” And then there turkey falls out of her coat. She was pregnant with you. Ready to find your perfect monologue? Just small and soft and adorable and with that milky head smell and the tiny socks and giggles and, yes, vomit even. He’d lost his wallet.

She won’t be surprised.

.

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